You Could Be Sabotaging Your Own Relationships!
A person can sabotage a relationship in so many ways. Sometimes it’s done consciously, but more often it is an unconscious act on our part.
Of course, most people want their relationships to work or they wouldn’t go out looking for one! When the relationship does not work they wonder why it failed.
Sometimes the reason a relationship failed is that we unconsciously sabotaged it.
Sabotaging a relationship is something people do everyday. We do it for many different reasons. Sometimes we do it as a way of protecting ourselves; sometimes it is related to how we were raised or something that happened in a past relationship. Whatever the reason, there seems to be ten fatal flaws people make that sabotage their relationships:
1. Choosing a partner based on the wrong criteria. If you always have a set criteria you look for in a mate, maybe you are cheating yourself. You should not judge a person by what they have or don’t have, but rather by who they are.
2. Letting the relationship progress too fast. Women and men get caught up in emotions and tend to let things move too quickly. By becoming too vulnerable too quickly you are opening the door for trouble. It is better to connect emotionally before letting things go too far.
3. Getting attached before getting acquainted. As emotional beings, we tend to let our hearts rule our head. When you become too emotionally attached before getting to know someone, you are putting yourself at risk of ending up heart broken or being stuck in a bad relationship.
4. Being too clingy. If you abandon all your friends and all your other commitments so you can be with your new soul mate all the time then you are making a major mistake. Becoming too clingy will definitely drive a person away.
5. Creating expectations. One thing both parties need to understand is that when they get into a relationship they need to accept the person for who they are, and not always be trying to change them. If they weren’t a millionaire when you met them, don’t expect him to become one when you are together.
6. Allowing problems to build up. Many times people are content to ignore problems, thinking they will go away. When you do this you are only building yourself up for a major outburst. It is always better to handle problems directly and as soon as possible so they do not grow into something that can’t be fixed.
7. Being fake. You can not try to be someone you are not just to attract a mate. Once you start off lying your relationship will forever be scarred.
8. Lies. Lies of any kind are sure relationship killers. You have to be honest about everything from the start.
9. Old fashioned. Some men appreciate a woman with old-fashioned values, but many men still prefer a women who can be independent and who thinks for herself. Most men don’t want a clingy, ditzy woman nor do they want one. They prefer an intellectual woman who is her own person.
10.Expecting this person to be your soul mate. Many single people are on the quest to find that one true love they are meant to be with forever. Many times in this quest a person passes up possibilities who are wonderful and could be the one, if only they got to know them. Having this idea of a soul mate can be quite damaging. It places unreal expectations and strain on a relationship.
I was once asked “How do I know for sure if he is my one and only?” Well, the answer is, you really don’t. However, if he or she makes you happy, then take it day by day. If you continue to be happy, then, that’s all that counts.
