Midlife Dating in the 21st Century, It Just Doesnt Get Any Better!
You’ve probably figured this out by now, but dating is much different now than it was in the 20th century. Not only have women gained more independence and control in relationships during the past 40 years, the Internet has had an effect on all aspects of human relationships. Methods of meeting others often reflect what is happening to society as a whole. Although dating can be more invigorating as a result of sexual liberation, it can also put people in more harmful situations. It certainly isn’t our parents’ world anymore.
There was a time when dating was commonly referred to as “courting” and it was a much more conservative way for a man to get to know a woman. Of course, today’s world doesn’t consider a courtship necessarily a man-woman union and there certainly aren’t any hard fast rules about who approaches whom.
I for one, am completely thankful for this because I LOVE to dance. However, for some reason, I’m the last person men will ask to dance. Maybe it’s because I’m not all that busty, but even so, I LOVE to dance! I learned early on that if I want to dance at all, I’m going to have to ask the men myself! Fortunately, I haven’t been turned down many times, and I think men are quit flattered when a woman asks them to dance. I am very thankful for popular culture and political movements, where now the dating world can be a free for all. Yet, some feel this may not necessarily be a good thing.
With the virtual world at our fingertips, online dating and socializing has become more and more acceptable. Where this concept was once considered odd or dangerous, popular online social networks have made it downright commonplace, particularly amongst midlife adults.
However, this form of meeting others can be even more flighty than approaching a stranger in a bar. At least one can see the person they are approaching in a bar- online dating is even more ambiguous.
Even more high tech are the newfound dating services that promise scientific, accurate matches for people. Sure, matchmakers date back to biblical times, but today’s services are much more thorough. Extensive personality examinations yield more specific results than “Man seeking a non-smoking woman”. Everyone has seen banner ads online for these virtual matchmaking companies, as well as television commercials with real-life testimonials of happy couples. It is hard to argue with the results when a happy, attractive couple is telling everyone that it really worked for them.
Although meeting potential mates through the Internet is certainly becoming popular, the number one ways to meet “the one” are still a few old standbys: through mutual friends or at a bar/club. It is amazing though, that some people will subscribe to Match.com or Yahoo Personals, and find out that their one and only lives just down the street (this actually happened to a friend of mine) – I have NO idea why she didn’t run across him before – but it was definitely worth the money spent looking. . .
Still, according to Nielsen researchers, the most popular way to meet people goes in this order:
- Through friends/bar or nightclub
- At work/online
- Dating agency
- Classified ads
- Speed dating, other and phone dating.
Although modern 21st century dating may have its drawbacks at times, many happy unions have been formed amongst the liberated or the cyber-friendly.
After all, how advantageous is it to make rash assumptions about society just because it is experiencing a new trend? Like anything else in life, using common sense seems to be the key to safety and happiness. This is particularly true when it applies to anyone’s approach to dating.
