Do Not Fear Honesty in Your Relationship
Sometimes in relationships lies seem to be way too easy to come by. Part of the reason why lies are so rampant in relationships is because, for one reason or another, many people fear being honest. This leads them to lies and deceit. When you are in a relationship and you have a fear of being honest then you really need to take time to get to the heart of your fear, so you can make a good, healthy relationships for yourself.
What? You’ve never heard of this before. Well, it’s true! People fear being honest for many reasons. People fear being honest because they do not want to hurt their partner. They fear honesty because they do not want to disappoint their partner. They fear honesty because of what may happen to them. The fear of honesty can be both selfish and selfless. If you’re not doing anything wrong, you should have nothing to fear.
What usually happens to perpetuate the fear of being honest is that a person does so something wrong that would be devastating to their relationship if their partner found out. Maybe this person got really drunk one night and cheated. After that happens, the line of thought goes something like this until the fear of being honest is fully engaged:
- What harm is there is not telling her if I am never going to do it again.
- I didn’t mean to cheat. I was drunk. I know I’ll never do it again.
- I cheated and if he/she finds out she will leave me.
- She would not get mad or depressed if I don’t tell her.
- Instead I will be able to stay with her and we will never have to face the trauma of what I have done.
It’s not hard to see that the person is trying to rationalize in their head why they should lie. They are so wrapped up in thinking about lying that they do not even think about the repercussions of the lie verses the repercussions of their original situation.
Lack of honesty can only lead to more problems. For example, in the scenario above, a lie about cheating found out is almost as bad as the cheating itself. This person may not have ruined their relationship when they originally cheated, but by lying about it they really have now almost definitely ruined their relationship.
The fear of being honest is something you have to overcome if you ever want to have a good relationship. Once a person catches their partner in a lie, it takes a lot of time and energy to ever be able to regain that trust. That makes the lie almost as bad as anything you could have lied about in the first place.
So, in the end a fear of honesty is only building yourself up for constant failure in relationships. A fear of honesty is one you have to overcome if love is to ever be in your future.
Honesty is really the ONLY option if a relationship is to succeed!
