Are you in the right relationship?
If you find yourself having cyclical arguments, lacking intimacy, feeling unappreciated or experiencing any other feelings of nervousness, then it is encouraged that you take the time to re-evaluate what kind of relationship you have.
Many people, though unhappy, are okay in their relationship as it is familiar, and they hang onto the unrealistic notion that things will get better because all too often romantic films let us know that “love” is discovered after one member of the couple changes something about themselves or makes a grand gesture for the other person. But an apology does not instantly equal compassion just as a bouquet of flowers doesn’t take away the hurt of betrayal and a fighting match is not very likely to resolve a problematic situation.
If there is no effort to learn from mistakes then it is not likely the injured individual will be able to forgive, forget, move on, and let the relationship to grow and yet still, we stay in relationships whereby these negative behaviours occur continually due to long held beliefs that there’s just one person compatible with us, and there’s nobody else out there.
As we mature, one would think that realities would become clear to us but they don’t. The values instilled at a tender age that there is only ‘one true love ‘ are reinforced by romantic films, television shows, and books that follow the same premise as our childhood fairytales, somehow appear more true to life but they aren’t.
These concepts impede a person’s ability to see well and so leave a negative relationship. Such an inability to leave a bad relationship manifests because of a fear of the unknown and the hopeful view that people can change.
A great relationship enables us to embrace better versions of ourselves and motivates normal people to reach astonishing outcomes. In the case of relationships, we are often very aware of how well things are going.
While most relationships can be rejuvenated, occasionally this is not possible and it is at these times that it’s important to remember that if there truly is only one true love out there for us all, then you simply haven’t already met them yet.
Chris Dawson is a highly qualified marriage counselling expert, helping couples resolve relationship issues. His in depth expertise, of over 25 years expertise, is highly sort after throughout the world in his position as Clinical Director for Humaneed, a leading Marriage and Relationship Counselling Service based in Australia.
